About the Nothing Store

As Obama and crew print and borrow more and more money, the U.S. dollar faces an uncertain future.

But three cheers for our Unmighty Dollars -- print as many as you like. They're already worth Nothing, so they can't go down in value.

Comments? Email The Nothing Store team!

The Nothing Store issues new currency weekly.

Counterfeiting Instructions:

Click on a denomination above, print the bills, cut them out, and stuff in an envelope. Send to your congressman or senator marked as a CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTION. They'll get the message! For the address of your congressman, click here for senators and here for representatives.

New Voters

The Washington Post reports that Americans are reaching into their thinning bank accounts to again shell out a yearly 45 billion on canine anti-depressants, hip replacements, and fancy doggie spas.

The economic downturn has hit both pet owners and the companies that supply them. Surely this has not gone unnoticed at the White House, where schemes to turn victims into voters seems to be a favorite pastime.

We can imagine that after churning out a $250 bribe for seniors, a little something for the suffering doggie owners can't be far behind. Throw 'em a bone, so to speak.

You'll know this is coming if we start seeing sob stories on Oprah and the lefty networks about families forced to cancel Fido's charm school or deprive Spot of his gourmet din-din.

Then someone from ABC will ask White House Press Secretary Gibbs about the rumors of help for strapped pet owners. There will be Poodle Parades in San Francisco. The big doggie drug and food companies will sic their lobbyists on Congress, begging for some stimulus treats.

The NAPO (National Association of Pet Owners) will blast the nay sayers in Congress as mean and heartless right-wing fanatics.

Pretty soon cat lovers will join the stampede, demanding equal treatment for their little darlings. Next in line will be the owners of parakeets, gerbils, and goldfish. There will be cries of "species discrimination" if the money is not forthcoming.

A joke you say? Ha! Remember, this is a government that is "loaning" zillions to their pals on Wall Street so that they can use the money to speculate against the dollar and give the illusion of an economic recovery.

And then there's Cass Sunstein, Obama's Regulatory Czar, who has written that animals should have the right to be represented by humans in court.

Mmmmm. We could use another 250 bucks. Maybe we'll have to figure on getting a pet for a while, on the cheap of course. But no gourmet dog food for our new furry friend. Nope, we know what we'll do with the money. Let's see, $250. That's about 20 silver dollars and a tank of gas. Call the dog pound!