About the Nothing Store

As Obama and crew print and borrow more and more money, the U.S. dollar faces an uncertain future.

But three cheers for our Unmighty Dollars -- print as many as you like. They're already worth Nothing, so they can't go down in value.

Comments? Email The Nothing Store team!

The Nothing Store issues new currency weekly.


Counterfeiting Instructions:

Click on a denomination above, print the bills, cut them out, and stuff in an envelope. Send to your congressman or senator marked as a CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTION. They'll get the message! For the address of your congressman, click here for senators and here for representatives.








BERNANKE MATH



First there was New Math, then Fuzzy Math, now there's Bernanke Math, the latest educational fad that is trickling down to the schools after an enthusiastic endorsement by the teachers' unions. A few highlights:

  • The goal of all education is to create a fair and just society, therefore the study of numbers must be measured by its social good. Numbers are not independent facts, but servants of the people.

  • Negative numbers are less than nothing, therefore they do not exist and can be ignored. A deficit of something, money for example, is negative by definition. Since negatives do not exist, there is no such thing as deficit spending.

  • Zero plus zero is still zero, therefore all zeros are equal. So a one followed by six zeros, which in the old math was called one million, is the same as one followed by eight zeroes, 10 zeroes, and so on. Billions, trillions, quadrillions -there all the same. From now on they will all be called by their new name: Governillions.

  • Bernanke Math appears incomprehensible, but this is not a concern. Congressional Democrats say they understand it. And as President Obama pointed out in one of his Harvard papers: "Half of all Americans are below average in intelligence."

  • And finally, the most important rule of all, the First Principal of Bernanke Math: Question: What is two plus two? Answer: We know, but we don't have to tell you.


Yes, it's Bernanke Math. BM for short.

--S. Rowe, Chief Know Nothing




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