As Obama and crew print and borrow more and more money, the U.S. dollar faces an uncertain future.
But three cheers for our Unmighty Dollars -- print as many as you like. They're already worth Nothing, so they can't go down in value.
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The Nothing Store issues new currency weekly.
THE SILK PORTFOLIO
February 6, 2010 As we sit in front of the woodstove watching
the snow swirl and the trees bend to a howling wind, we feel strangely
snug and secure, even though we know that an economic storm is building
that will make this Mid-Atlantic tempest seem like a pleasant teapot.
By now only the most dense among us can fail to see the darkening skies.
California, the world's eighth largest economy, is sliding towards
default and fiscal chaos. Greece, Spain, Portugal, maybe even Italy-all
victims of too much California-style governing-are in trouble. We
have national leaders who talk about American exceptionalism, but who
act as if our traditional values of personal responsibility and economic
freedom are somehow the cause of all the troubles in the world.
And on and on....
So, why do we feel this sense of serenity? Forgive us, friends, for
our crudeness, but it's because of our underwear.
More precisely, it's because of our long johns, our silk long johns.
Perhaps because we spend a lot of time outdoors, we remember well when
we discovered the pleasures of silk long johns. For years we had worn
long johns of various materials--cotton, synthetics, and high tech blends
of plastic and wool. All have their uses, but for all-around comfort
in moderate conditions, it's hard to beat the lovely feel of thin,
finely-woven silk next to your skin.
We got our first pair as a gift, a luxury we would not have thought
to buy for ourselves. We enjoyed them so much we shopped around for
more, and lo and behold, they were cheap. So cheap in fact we bought
several pairs. Ah, we thought, the blessings of free trade. The Chinese
were so anxious for our dollars that average slobs like us could afford
fine silk. Surely no king ever felt so coddled in the cold. For most
of our lives clothes were expensive, and the thought that we could ever
splurge on silk long johns never entered our provincial minds. Now that
had changed.
But get ready, that global fire sale may be coming to an end. In the
years ahead we may look back on this time of imported bargains with
a nostalgic sigh.
Recently we squeezed enough from our budget to buy a case of silk long
johns, in all sizes. They are a lot more perishable than, say, gold
(we left them in the wrappings, with mothballs), but they are also a
lot more immediately useful, especially as heating bills go up and our
thermostats go down.
We know that a lot of imported stuff is junk, but there is also a lot
of quality too, and it will never again be traded for so few of our
paper dollars as in these times.
Surely it is a good idea to stash away some gold and silver, the traditional
hedges against government insanity, but don't forget to spend what
you can on clothes and tools.
We call it our Silk Portfolio. And how good it feels.
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